Better off with a pet rock.

[Skinny rooster]

The manager of a feed store was feeling good about coming to work one fine spring morning; however his day was immediately ruined by a call from an angry customer. Apparently the man was in earlier with his children and wanted to buy some baby chicks that the store had. He said the person behind the counter refused only him from getting chicks, causing him to leave with sobbing children in tow. The manager called the worker into his office to ask why he had refused the sale. The clerk explained that when he told the customer to also purchase a bag of chick starter, the customer then asked if he should mix the starter into the soil before planting the chicks or just sprinkle some on top after planting?

[TomK]

I just read this... OMG....what????

[WLLady]

[baronrenfrew]

In the 1940's An widow lived in a cabin and cut and sold wood for money. One day at the hardware store the clerk asked what kind of chainsaw she used.

"Chainsaw?" I don't use one of those things; i do it the old fashioned way: handsaw and axe."
The clerk asked "and how much wood do you cut each week?"
"Oh about 4 chords."

"Well with this new chainsaw you can easily double that in the same time."

"Really? Double? Well then i'll try one."

So she went home and worked all week with the new saw. The next week she went back to the hardware store and met the clerk outside. "I want a refund." She demanded. "This thing is useless."

The clerk, dumbfounded asked "well, what's wrong with it maam?"

"This thing is useless. I worked hard all week and I barely cut two chords of work."

"Really," the clerk answered," You should have cut 8 or 10 chords." i have some wood here, let me try it. "So the clerk pulled the starter cord and fired up the saw."

"Aaaack!" she screamed as she jumped back.

"What's that noise?"