My unbirthday and higher mathematics

Farrier1987 · Post by **Farrier1987** » Mon Feb 15, 2016 1:40 pm

My un-birthday and higher mathematics.

I was born in a leap year, so it’s divisible by four. This year, 2016 is divisible by four. The square route of 16 is four. The square route of sixteen is four, and the square route of four is two, and two to the sixth power is 64. And this being the year Y2K plus sixteen, then graphed on logarithmic X-Y graph paper and extrapolating, the following becomes apparent:

(x+y)n=∑nk=0(nk)xn−kyk=∑nk=0(nk)xkyn−k

By solving the equation and then considering that 1952 was the year of the dragon, it becomes clear that I do not have a birthday this year.

The above equation only works in the northern hemisphere due to the rotation of the earth. Not unlike the Great Northern Woofle bird that flies only clockwise in tighter and tighter circles, until it disappears up its own backside, only to reappear in the same latitude and longitude in the southern hemisphere, fully re-formed, and flying in ever tightening circles anticlockwise, and is then known as the Great Southern Woofle bird. It is not known where it lays its eggs, or if the bird that appears in the southern hemisphere is the same bird, or its offspring, but DNA testing will be conducted if one is ever caught. Scientists are hesitant to approach too closely for fear of being sucked into the whirlpool and apparent gravity wave as it disappears. But I digress.

Now my mother in particular will be upset with me. She seems to always get in a dither about what to get me, can’t decide so knits slippers. Now, the slippers are appreciated, and it’s probably good therapy for her eighty some year old fingers, but Mom, don’t do it this year. You may not understand the numbers above. But you know all that money you spent sending me to college, it allows me to understand stuff like this, where you might not. I know it’s kind of sad to not be able to discuss this in depth, but it’s just the way it is when I have been educated to a different and higher plane than you have. Just accept it. Maybe the next time you are abducted by aliens and taken onto their ship, you can ask them to do the munchkin mind meld, and it will all become clear.

Now I know that IF I was going to have a birthday this year, it would be on the 16th of February and I would be 64. But it’s not going to happen, and it is proven mathematically.

To quote my late father, “How can you argue with logic like that?”

And mom, I am going out to the chicken house and to feed the goats and horse. That you would understand and have passed on, and we can share that any time. Thanks for that and the college education.

SandyM · Post by **SandyM** » Mon Feb 15, 2016 1:53 pm

I don't drink but suddenly I need a strong stiff drink. Actually, make it a double.

Post by **WLLady** » Mon Feb 15, 2016 2:04 pm

suddenly i want a woofle bird.
sounds like i wouldn't have to feed it....since i could rely on the person in the southern hemisphere to do that ;-P
i think you should at least have cake. just because. doesn't have to be birthday cake. actually if you don't put candles on it, it would not be a birthday cake now would it? ;-P

Post by **thejonesboy** » Mon Feb 15, 2016 2:28 pm

I really wouldn't bother with birthdays then :)

windwalkingwolf · Post by **windwalkingwolf** » Mon Feb 15, 2016 4:55 pm

Mind blown :D Happy unbirthday tomorrow! If tomorrow never comes, does that mean you never get older? I'm with Sandy, I need a stiff drink.

Flat Rock Farm · Post by **Flat Rock Farm** » Mon Feb 15, 2016 5:04 pm

All I can say is...........WOW........... and I'm with Sandy and need a

Post by **WLLady** » Mon Feb 15, 2016 5:32 pm

oh, and farrier1987...i think YOU need a drink too! (or two)

SandyM · Post by **SandyM** » Mon Feb 15, 2016 5:47 pm

Yes!!!! I'm all for cake!!!! I never need an occasion for cake, but don't mind making up occasions for cake consumption. Yay!! Cake and drinks!!

Ontario Chick · Post by **Ontario Chick** » Mon Feb 15, 2016 6:11 pm

Oy...

baronrenfrew · Post by **baronrenfrew** » Mon Feb 15, 2016 8:43 pm

Sandy... Just have a muffin... A muffin is just cake that is socially acceptable to eat for breakfast.

Farrier...hmmmmm.....quite the trail of logic... do you work in a gov't office? Treasury? If you did and it was for Premier Kathleen Wynne than that would explain a few things. Such as why the Thunder Bay coal fired hydro generater was shut down (coal was local) and now is operating at 2% capacity on biofuel (steamed wood pellets)....imported from Norway???

You don't work for the gov't? Oh whew.

Have a happy day, and week, and year, and decade....

and many blessings on you and your flock.