Groanerrs

Warning!!!! May contain mild language and off-colour humour. Please try to keep it clean and for all age groups folks.
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Killerbunny
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Re: Groanerrs

Post by Killerbunny » Thu Oct 12, 2017 8:36 am

How to Bathe the Cat

Dear Cat Owner,

Following are instructions on the best way to bathe your cat:

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Don't get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out to grab anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,

The DOG
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Happy
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Re: Groanerrs

Post by Happy » Thu Oct 12, 2017 10:20 am

That cat cleaning method just might work for my old Barred Rock lol.
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Farrier1987
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Re: Groanerrs

Post by Farrier1987 » Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:22 pm

Most people know what an apple box is, and what a shoe box is. But few know what tree box ix. Its what you have to pay a Newfie hooker.
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Farrier1987. South of Chatham on Lake Erie. Chickens, goats, horse, garden, dog, cat. Worked all over the world. Know a little bit about a lot of things. No incubator, broody hens.

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windwalkingwolf
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Re: Groanerrs

Post by windwalkingwolf » Sun Oct 15, 2017 5:45 pm

Groooaaaannnn, you guys are killing me!
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ross
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Re: Groanerrs

Post by ross » Sun Oct 15, 2017 5:55 pm

At this time a year
How do yu make anti freeze
Take away her long underwear 👎
5
past "best before" date .;-)
God is great , beer is good & people are crazy .
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baronrenfrew
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Re: Groanerrs

Post by baronrenfrew » Mon Oct 16, 2017 12:20 pm

roflmbo ...tree box...anti freeze roflmbo
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Diligently follow the path of two swords as one. Percieve that which the eye cannot see. Seek the truth in all things. Do not engage in useless activity.

The Book of Five Rings, Miyamoto Musashi, Japan's greatest swordsmen

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ross
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Re: Groanerrs

Post by ross » Tue Oct 17, 2017 4:11 am

Went to Docs yesterday for my yearly . One of the questions he asked was if I woke up grumpy in the morning . I said no I let her sleep .. Baboom 🙃
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past "best before" date .;-)
God is great , beer is good & people are crazy .
May I be a 1/2 an hr in heaven before the devil knows I'm dead .

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Farrier1987
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Re: Groanerrs

Post by Farrier1987 » Wed Oct 18, 2017 7:33 am

Well the long and the short of it was that that streaker had no business to be seen there.
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Farrier1987. South of Chatham on Lake Erie. Chickens, goats, horse, garden, dog, cat. Worked all over the world. Know a little bit about a lot of things. No incubator, broody hens.

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baronrenfrew
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Re: Groanerrs

Post by baronrenfrew » Wed Oct 18, 2017 9:17 am

"I get no respect"

"I went to the hardware store...bought some rat poison...they asked "you want a bag or you wanna eat it here?""

"No respect"

Courtesy Rodney Dangerfield
2
Diligently follow the path of two swords as one. Percieve that which the eye cannot see. Seek the truth in all things. Do not engage in useless activity.

The Book of Five Rings, Miyamoto Musashi, Japan's greatest swordsmen

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WLLady
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Re: Groanerrs

Post by WLLady » Wed Oct 18, 2017 9:39 am

If you can think of a better fish joke....let minnow.....
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