The Wonderful Witt of Women

Maximus · Post by **Maximus** » Wed Mar 15, 2017 12:54 pm

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

MARRIAGE DEATH
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!'

'Yeah?' she replies. 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
That reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!'

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Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
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TomK · Post by **TomK** » Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:31 pm

True..sadlly.

Post by **poultry_admin** » Wed Mar 15, 2017 4:31 pm

TomK wrote:QR_BBPOST True..sadlly.

Or:
Truly Sandy...

TomK · Post by **TomK** » Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:30 pm

poultry_admin wrote:QR_BBPOST
TomK wrote:QR_BBPOST True..sadlly.
Or:
Truly Sandy...

That too....and wordsmith that i wished i was, isn't wit spelled with one T ......(ducking)

Maximus · Post by **Maximus** » Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:33 pm

Yup. One T.
Leaving it. Because that's how I roll!

Farrier1987 · Post by **Farrier1987** » Sat Mar 18, 2017 7:33 am

Oh yes, men are equipped, but when these sort of things come from them, they are labeled chauvinists and anti feminists. So we demure.

How can you tell for sure a man is a chauvinist? Ask him if he considers "harass" one word or two.

baronrenfrew · Post by **baronrenfrew** » Sat Mar 18, 2017 10:13 am

When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnic
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You're probably thinking that you're going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up all but no matter what
Remember I'm still a guy
When you see a priceless French painting
I see drunk, naked girls
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I'd like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might
Walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I'm still a guy

Read more: Brad Paisley - I'm Still A Guy Lyrics | MetroLyrics

baronrenfrew · Post by **baronrenfrew** » Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:31 pm

TomK wrote:QR_BBPOST True..sadlly.

Plus we win by losing. If we win often enough, we could lose half our stuff.

TomK · Post by **TomK** » Sat Mar 18, 2017 6:21 pm

baronrenfrew wrote:QR_BBPOST
TomK wrote:QR_BBPOST True..sadlly.
Plus we win by losing. If we win often enough, we could lose half our stuff.

Interesting point to ponder, Bert....and btw, the message in that song makes me nuts...cookie cutter men...sorta like religion..only one way is the right way.....no no no...

baronrenfrew · Post by **baronrenfrew** » Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:46 am

That's the kind of guy he is. Some guys are interior decorators and are a little flamboyant. Nobody says you aren't a guy if you don't drive a truck.

Heck our world would be awful boring if all guys were the same.